{"id":1889,"date":"2024-04-27T08:26:19","date_gmt":"2024-04-27T08:26:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/franwashgossip.com\/?p=1889"},"modified":"2025-12-18T03:53:44","modified_gmt":"2025-12-18T03:53:44","slug":"aukus-morrison-and-god","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/franwashgossip.com\/index.php\/2024\/04\/27\/aukus-morrison-and-god\/","title":{"rendered":"AUKUS, Morrison and God!"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"1889\" class=\"elementor elementor-1889\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-21859a1 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"21859a1\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-536d2b1\" data-id=\"536d2b1\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-10b98cf elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"10b98cf\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.21.0 - 25-04-2024 *\/\n.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked .elementor-drop-cap{background-color:#69727d;color:#fff}.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-framed .elementor-drop-cap{color:#69727d;border:3px solid;background-color:transparent}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap{margin-top:8px}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap-letter{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap{float:left;text-align:center;line-height:1;font-size:50px}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap-letter{display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Aptos, sans-serif; color: #000000;\"><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">This is the story about the origins of the AUKUS nuclear submarine pact between Australia, the United Kingdom and the United States. Up until now this story has been a secret. We now know what happened because several of the people involved needed their soiled underpants washed after a day of bull shitting about what a great deal it is. They took their undies to a laundromat owned by Max and he put the undies into his favourite washing machine named Fran. Fran is an older model front loading machine which over several decades of washing has learnt to both talk to clothes and to understand what humans say.<\/span><\/p><p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Aptos, sans-serif; color: #000000;\"><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">Admiral David Johnston, who head of the Australian Defence Forces is a pompous man who brags that he is the first leader of Australia&#8217;s nuclear navy. Australian prime minister Scott Morrison, often known as Scotty, is very religious but not very intelligent. Cameron Stewart is an Australian journalist who is very enthusiastic about AUKUS submarines being built in Adelaide, a moderate sized city in the South Australia. Fran gets to wash the underpants of Johnston, Morrison and Stewart.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Aptos, sans-serif; color: #000000;\"><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">Alexander Downer is a former Australian Foreign Minister who comes from Adelaide. He is probably the smartest of of all these people, but his undies are not being washed because he has not soiled them. <\/span><\/p><p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Aptos, sans-serif; color: #000000;\"><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">As they are being washed the undies discuss the origins of the AUKUS idea. <\/span><\/p><p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Aptos, sans-serif; color: #000000;\"><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">Admiral Johnston&#8217;s undies tell Stewart&#8217;s undies that\u00a0<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">\u201cIt was here that AUKUS was born!&#8221; Stewart is surprised, asking <\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">\u00a0\u201cHow? We are now inside an old washing machine!&#8221; Morrison&#8217;s underpants now explain what happened. <\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">\u201cScotty spoke to God and said he felt depressed and that he needed some radical new water-tight idea to help win the next election. God told him that he needed to clean his soul, so Scotty brought his clothes, including me, to be washed here &#8212; in Max\u2019s laundromat! Scotty looked at Max in a depressed sort of way and said he needed to wash his soul. Max was confused, but nevertheless tried to cheer him up by saying that his clothes would be washed in Fran \u2013 his favourite washing machine.&#8221; Fran now explains what happened next. <\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">\u201cYes. I remember. I still don\u2019t really know what a soul is. I just talk to clothes when I wash them. \u00a0There was some need for a water-tight idea. I said that as a washing machine I knew a lot about water and keeping it tight inside.&#8221; Morrison&#8217;s underpants now take up the story, saying &#8220;<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">that\u2019s when I had the idea about submarines. They need to keep water tight outside. The radical idea that Scotty needed would be about submarines! I explained the issue to Fran and she said that she was made by Simpson in Adelaide 30 years ago. This company knew a lot about being water-tight. Maybe it could make submarines?&#8221;<\/span><\/p><p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Aptos, sans-serif; color: #000000;\"><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">Stewart&#8217;s undies now join the conversation saying &#8220;<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">I\u2019m starting to get the idea. We need to convert washing machines into submarines? But, no washing machine is big enough for this!&#8221; <\/span><\/p><p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Aptos, sans-serif; color: #000000;\"><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">Morrison&#8217;s undies ignore this stupid comment and say, &#8220;<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">In any case, I told Scotty about Simpson in Adelaide \u2013 and he said he would talk to God.&#8221; Stewart&#8217;s undies now ask:<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\"> \u201cWhat did God say?&#8221; Morrison&#8217;s underpants now explain:<\/span><\/p><p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Aptos, sans-serif; color: #000000;\"><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">&#8220;Scotty was just about to get on his knees when Alexander Downer called, and asked if he was taking his medicine as prescribed. Scotty than told<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\"> told Downer about Simpson in Adelaide. Downer was surprised. I heard him say very loudly&#8221;: <\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">&#8220;Adelaide? You are crazy! You are stupid! You are nutty!&#8221; <\/span><\/p><p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Aptos, sans-serif; color: #000000;\"><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">Fran now explains that she felt dejected, saying: &#8220;<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">So, my idea was not good?&#8221;<\/span><\/p><p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Aptos, sans-serif; color: #000000;\"><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">Morrisons underpants now continue the story, saying that<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\"> \u201cScotty was shocked! He just sat on his bed trying to put me on while mumbling to God.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Aptos, sans-serif; color: #000000;\"><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">Stewart&#8217;s undies now ask: &#8220;So, how did we get to AUKUS?<\/span><\/p><p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Aptos, sans-serif; color: #000000;\"><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">Morrison&#8217;s underpants now get to the point saying: <\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">\u201cScotty is a marketing man, and he thought that God must be sending him a coded message via Downer; like a sort of prophet! We were in bed and in the middle of the night he suddenly sits up and exclaims: <\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">\u201cI understand God! Downer is your messenger to me!\u201d<\/span><\/p><p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Aptos, sans-serif; color: #000000;\"><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">\u201cAdelaide is A, you crazy is UK, you silly is US \u2013 and nutty is nuclear! I understand everything now.&#8221; &#8220;Simpson can make nuclear submarines in Adelaide \u2013 and I will call it AUKUS.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Aptos, sans-serif; color: #000000;\">\u00a0<\/p><p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Aptos, sans-serif; color: #000000;\"><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is the story about the origins of the AUKUS nuclear submarine pact between Australia, the United Kingdom and the United States. Up until now<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1889","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/franwashgossip.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1889","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/franwashgossip.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/franwashgossip.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/franwashgossip.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/franwashgossip.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1889"}],"version-history":[{"count":25,"href":"https:\/\/franwashgossip.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1889\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1920,"href":"https:\/\/franwashgossip.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1889\/revisions\/1920"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/franwashgossip.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1889"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/franwashgossip.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1889"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/franwashgossip.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1889"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}